Pros and Cons to being passable

Pros and Cons to being Passible 

I know the term passible is a very touchy subject and I do not believe you have to be what society considers normal to be yourself! I think a lot of trans girls get obsessed with transitioning and all they can think about is getting the surgeries they want to feel better about themselves and be able to blend into society I get that. However I also think you should still love yourself and the body you have! Personally I struggle with if I want to have surgery or not because I don't want to have to have surgery to love myself it's a major struggle. I am fortunate enough to be what society sees as passible so I don't deal with as much hate and discrimination as someone who is more obviously trans. It's very sad but true. I don't have to worry about someone clocking me or spilling my tea every day and I am very fortunate for that. However there are still struggle with being passible for me atleast.  

Let's see where do I start... I guess the first thing is that there will be times where you tell someone that you are trans and they straight out don't believe you. It's the crazies thing to me because who would lie about something like that?! The sad truth is my life would be so much easier if I was born a biological woman but that's not the cards I was dealt. The next thing would have to be dating and guys in general. I can not tell you how many straight boys hit me up on the dl acting like that want to be with me and this and that. Then once they get what they want it's like im nothing or it's nothing more then just a hook up. Like I'm not good enough to be out with them in public or something. Like I'm pretty enough for you to want to fuck me but not pretty enough to be taken out on a date? Then on the opposite end there are Tranny Chasers which (no offense if you are one) are guys that are into trans girls because they are trans and because they have a penis is basically what it boils down too. I'm not judging anyone if your into that it's just not my thing. First of all to me these guys have an unrealistic expectation of us because when you've been on hormones or in my case have more female hormones naturally then things are not going to look or work the same down there bottom line. I don't want to sound like I'm speaking for everyone because I'm not everyone is different and that's totally ok this is just my own opinion. 

Another thing for me is when to tell someone I'm trans. In my experience most of the time when your getting to know a guy and hangin out and you wait to tell him your trans when you finally do it like your not the same person you were 5 minutes ago. I'm 5 minutes like that there no longer interested. I guess that's what I get for going after straight deuche bags but you can't blame a girl for trying. It's hard for me cuz I want someone that loves for me. Not because im trans or big or pretty because of the person I am! Maybe one day. Another thing I'm sure this is most of us but going to the doctor is always such an uncomfortable situation for me. First of all because of me being passible and having female on my license they don't think otherwise so there is always the awkward conversation and idk why but I feel like once they find out I'm like a science experiment to them. Like they ask me all kinds of question I've had doctors want to examine my body when it's not needed. I guess it's like a reality check for me that I am trans. I know this might make some of you angry but I think it will also help you there are times when I forget I'm even trans. I just feel like the woman I am! 

Sorry if this post is a little all over the place it was just on my mind and I typed it as I was thinking about it. In life there is good and bad to everything but I know I'm not perfect but I love myself anyway! K Also I wrote this a few months ago and I decided to go-ahead and post it because it was what I was feeling at the time. I hope maybe this helped some of you realize that your not alone. 

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